DR. WALLACE: I know from reading your previous columns that you recommend students who are struggling in certain classes try to sit up front to pay better attention to the teacher and each daily lesson.

I tried this in my hardest class this new school year, but I ran into a problem. The teacher started calling on me and other kids in the front row quite often. This put me in the situation of not knowing the answers or having to stammer a bit after being caught off guard.

After this happened a second time, I ended up sitting in the back of the class, but it turned out that was no good either. Most of the kids in the back rows were making noises, passing notes and doing things that were very distracting to me. What should I do from here? I feel stuck either way. — Each Location Has Problems, via email

EACH LOCATION HAS PROBLEMS: Return to the front of the class, and to start with, perhaps sit in the second row. Beyond that, I suggest that you meet with the teacher one-on-one as soon as possible, sometime after class.

You could ask this teacher if he or she has a few minutes to talk to you, or if there are appointed office hours that you could visit. Once you can speak with the teacher alone for 5 to 10 minutes, simply and calmly explain that you are doing your best to be a serious student, but that you're not always able to keep up with every lesson in real time. Mention that you sometimes become embarrassed or frustrated that you can't answer direct teacher questions quickly and efficiently in front of the whole class.

One method I've seen work successfully is to have a student, such as you, proactively raise your hand when you do know the answer to a question or have the confidence that you have a good starting point for a comment. This way, your teacher will see your hand and can call on you directly, thus minimizing the times you may be called on when you have little to say.

Some teachers prefer keeping students on their toes by randomly calling on various students in the classroom. But even though teachers, once approached respectfully in private, will almost always accommodate a serious student who doesn't want to be embarrassed.

I'M MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE HIM

DR. WALLACE: As a very mature 17-year-old female, I feel I have the right to date anyone I would like to.

I met a guy at a music concert my girlfriends and I attended last weekend, because he was sitting very close to us and he loved the band that was playing as much as we did.

I knew he was older than I am, but I wasn't quite sure exactly how old he was. I did give him my phone number. Well, yesterday, he called me and during our conversation, I found out that he's 22 years old. He has a really good job, and he attended our high school, which is about 10 miles away from the school I currently attend.

He asked me out on a date, and I had to tell him I would think about it and get back to him. My problem is that my parents, especially my father, have a rule where they insist that I meet every date in person before we actually go out. I'm pretty sure that if and when my father sees this guy, he'll realize that he's over 21 years old, so I already know he's not going to permit me to go out with him.

What's such a big deal about being 17 or 18? In 10 short months, I'll be 18 years old, and I could go out with a guy who is 42 or 52 if I wanted to at that time. But right now, my parents have me locked up and will only allow me to date people from my own high school, or a select few others, whom they may feel comfortable with. Why can't my parents see that I'm already mature enough to handle going out on a date with a guy like this? — Ridiculous to Wait Ten Months, via email

RIDICULOUS TO WAIT TEN MONTHS: I can understand and appreciate how you feel, but I don't agree with your logic. We live in a society of rules, norms, and traditions. There are millions of people in our country, and we have laws as to what the date of adulthood is, which is standard for every human being living in America. At 18, an individual is deemed to be an adult in the eyes of the law.

Rules are rules. A college professional football game lasts exactly 60 minutes of playing time. Not 60 minutes and 10 seconds, not 59 minutes and 55 seconds, but exactly 60 minutes. Both teams fully understand this rule and must abide by. Professional basketball is played in 48 minutes, college basketball in 40 minutes and high school basketball in 32 minutes.

I'm using sports examples to drive home the point that the line must be drawn somewhere and must be universal for everyone, so that it is fair and everyone understands the laws in advance. Your present issue involves dating, but the magic age of 18 also applies to being able to enter into contracts, for example. And of course, I'm sure you're aware that you can move out of your family's home and live independently on your own as an 18-year-old.

Focus on the things you can control over the next 10 months, and not the things that are beyond your reach at this point in your life. Soon enough, you'll reach that magic age of 18, and a whole new world will open up to you with endless possibilities.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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